Book Review: How to Win Friends and Influence People

I love reading books, especially about self-improvement. My friend recommended this book and I immediately bought it. Why? Cause I really need to work on my communication skills! (I'm a timid person, I speak gibberish when I'm nervous and that just makes me more weird.)

Title: How to Win Friends & Influence People

Author: Dale Carnegie

Publisher: Pocket Books

Date of publication: 27th April 2010

Number of pages: 291 pg

This is an excellent book for a person who wants to learn more about human relations. This book is filled with examples of famous and ordinary people encountering social problems and how to solve them. These examples helps us have a picture on how to apply these principles in our life. 

The book is divided into 4 sections, each having it's own list of principles. It makes the readers focus and understand more about each section. The flow is also clear and easy to comprehend. 

  

If you don't want to read the entire book, this is the outline of each section (from the last pages of the book).

Part 1: Fundamental techniques in handling people

1. Don't criticize, condemn or complain

2. Give honest and sincere appreciation

3. Arouse in the other person an eager want

Part 2: Six ways to make people like you

1. Become genuinely interested in other people

2. Smile

3. Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language

4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves

5. Talk in terms of the other person's interest

6. Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely

Win people to your way of thinking

1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it

2. Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say "You're wrong"

3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatic

4. Begin in a friendly way

5. Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately

6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking

7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his/hers

8. Try honestly to see things from the other persons point of view

9. Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires

10. Appeal to the nobler motives

11. Dramatize your ideas

12. Throw down a challenge

Be a leader: How to change people without giving offense or arousing resentment

1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation

2. Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly

3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person

4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders

5. Let the other person save face

6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise:

7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to

8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct

9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest

To understand more about each point, it is better if you read the entire book. The author suggest to reread these principles daily, so that is sticks in your mind and eventually in your actions. 

I tried some of the principles myself and it helped me in some situations, especially in handling conflicts and explaining my thoughts. It changed my perspective in looking at problems and also the importance to control our emotions. One of my favorite lesson from this book is that it is absolutely important to understand other people. The most important person in life is yourself. So if we can make a person feel important (in ways explained by this book), the key to their heart will be handed to us.

It's worth the read guys! So lets go........to the book store or borrow this book from a friend :D

(Source: "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie)